I'm not much for leaving home because I am very close to my family but give me the opportunity to travel with no hassle and I would do it in a heartbeat. Who knows we'll see where this life will take me.

I hope the beginning of your Spring is going well so far. We just finished a horrible 2 days of rain, but I shouldn't be hating on the rain.. I always thought that when it rains that the sky was just getting a bath. Haven't you ever noticed that the day after it rains it seems twice as brighter and the sky is extra blue. I notice it every time and I love it.

Enough about the weather. I'm just trying to get some things in order. I'm trying to make things better for myself.. so I can get a bit farther in this life. I've already started one project and I think that's all I can really handle right now. It's been a long time coming but I'm pretty proud of myself to finally get started.. I am a bit angry at myself for waiting so long to begin but I know that getting angry with myself isn't going to help in anyway. I'm just trying to improve myself little by little.. I'm a work in progress (ha) I've got a pretty good list building I just know that if I try to take on one too many things I just shut down, and I absolutely hate that feeling cause then I lose all the drive I originally had to finish the task at hand. So now I'm taking things at my own pace.

Damn! I had this awesome paragraph about the current artists that I'm listening to and I did a Ctrl+z to go back to my last sentence and it ended up removing my entire paragraph. DAMN! So no, I won't be re-typing that all over again.. All I can say is I am currently listening to Efterklang's "Magic Chairs" and Two Door Cinema Club "Tourist History" and I am really liking them both. Check them out if you ever get the chance. And while you're in the process of "checking out" also be sure to look up Florence + The Machine "Lungs", Mute Math "Armstice" and "Mute Math" (both of these albums are fantasmic!)

So I'm starting to run out of things to talk about so expect more rambling.

The new show for Cirque Du Soleil was released.. it's called "Totem" and will open in April. Their first stop after Canada will be in Amsterdam. Will I work there again? If I'm still unemployed by then (my goodness I hope NOT) then most likely. Who knows. I personally feel that even if I am employed by then I will probably still try and work with Cirque. I love working with Cirque. Sure the time with them is short but I have fun while I'm there.. others look at is a job, which I did but I still try to look at it as an experience. I'm sure what we do is nothing compared to people that actually tour with CDS but I see it as us getting a little peek into how these people live and how they become this really tight nit family and I think that's really cool. I always joke around with my mom about how crazy and at the same time amazing it would be if I got to work with Cirque and go on tour. I think it would be extremely hard for me to leave home and I have no doubt that the first couple of days or maybe even weeks would be tough for me but if I passed up the opportunity.. I would be kicking my own ass for the next several years.

In a way though I think it would be good for me. Especially the traveling part. I feel that there isn't much here for me. It's not like I have these big dreams or anything to become "this" or "that".. I just.. how do I explain it? But just going on tour will open me up to something that I've never experienced or to new places.. or just something. Ha. I don't think I explained that well but I can't even really put into words how much I think it would be good for me. I guess it has to do with me never wanting your typical job. I've got nothing against doctors, lawyers, or engineers but I just never felt that it was something that I wanted to be. I have no drive for any of that stuff. I always wanted something different.. I wanted another experience. And I always thought Cirque offered that. But even if I worked at Cirque I'm not all too sure where I would belong. I guess that would be for them to decide. Sure it sounds crazy.. but sometimes the craziest are ideas are the best ones and sometimes they're just crazy. Let's hope this one will show up in the "best one" category. ha.

Who knows...

Maybe that 3rd time will be a charm.